I actually don’t know if this is the case all over China or just some parts, but I’ve seen it mentioned in a lot of places.
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Since English doesn’t have codified politeness levels in grammatical structures (like Japanese does with eg verb endings, where tabe-ru is less polite than tabe-masu for the same verb meaning “eat”), we tend to make requests longer the more polite we’re being.
For example:
- Bring me that.
- Hey/Yo, bring me that.
- Can you bring me that?
- Could you bring me that?
- Would you mind bringing me that?
- When you get a chance could you bring me that?
- If if fits into your schedule I’d appreciate it if you could bring me that.
- I know you’re really busy but it would really help me out a lot if you could bring me that.
With close friends the first one is ok(ish) if your tone isn’t too commanding, but I’d normally stick to 2 through 4 (or 5). For some reason a “please” sounds overly polite whereas a “thanks” upon receiving the request doesn’t. I imagine this is different for other regions. I’m from the US northeast, but people from the south probably feel differently.
- ケチャップをよこせ！
- ケチャップをくれよ！
- ケチャップを、今すぐ！
- ケチャップがどうしても必要だ！
- ケチャップをくれ、さもないと殺すぞ！
- ケチャップ野郎は誰だ？ケチャップを持ってこい！
- ケチャップが出るまであと３秒。その後、クソ野郎どもを殺し始めるぞ！
- お前は私のケチャップ奴隷だ。今すぐケチャップをくれ、さもないとお前の家族を殺すぞ。お願いします。
Using 私 in example 8 instead of オレ様 might look like a mistake but you have to understand that this is formal Japanese. In these sorts of situations everyone is armed to the teeth and one wrong word can lead to a massacre.
One time while attending a nomikai I drank before my senior and was beaten within an inch of my life. As they were about to finish me off with a rocket launcher my senpai swallowed a grenade on my behalf, excused himself and blew up outside the izakaya, this was fortunately enough for the senior to spare my life.
I am forever indebted to Suzuki-san for his noble sacrifice. Please use the above phrases well and you might survive and even thrive in Japan.
I’m writing this message from my hospital bed where I am waiting to have 50 chopsticks removed from my rectum (unrelated incident). Thank you again, Suzuki-san. I know you are watching over me from above in heaven.
One of my favorite random Japanese language coincidences is that one meaning of “yo” is the same in English and Japanese.
Let’s go, yo!
Ikou, yo!
In Canada it’s considered rude to think you’ll be offered a drink at someone’s house. As a Brit, that’s quite strange.
Or my family are weird. Who knows.
As an American with no social skills whatsoever, I get confused & annoyed when people offer me a beverage when I arrive at their house. Like why do they think I’m suddenly thirsty?
Presumably you had to travel to get there. It’s likely you didn’t have anything to drink while travelling. So they offer you a drink.
Also, it’s nice to sit and chat while enjoying a drink, whether that is a warm drink (coffee, tea, whatever), a cold drink (water, juice, soda, whatever), or an alcoholic drink (beer, wine, whatever).
Edit: Also why are you annoyed? If you don’t want anything a simple “nothing for me, thanks” is fine and shouldn’t put you out too much!
i’m interested in this. as a southerner, i offer everyone water when they arrive at my house because water is a basic human need and most people won’t ask for it when they need it because it can be a struggle to get it and they don’t want to put me out. it’s just like… a little showing of mutual respect and love for our shared struggle that takes not much to offer. if we’re eating, i’ll offer you food to.
if i don’t offer you water i’m communicating in the southern way that you are not welcome and your presence in my household has been imposed on me. i go by the standard Nikki Giovanni taught me: everyone gets fed, racists can fetch their own water.
but i acknowlege this is likely a cultural difference. my wife hates this pattern of showing solidarity and finds it confusing. so like… how do you and your people demonstrate that someone is welcome in your space?
