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Cake day: August 20th, 2023

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  • Since English doesn’t have codified politeness levels in grammatical structures (like Japanese does with eg verb endings, where tabe-ru is less polite than tabe-masu for the same verb meaning “eat”), we tend to make requests longer the more polite we’re being.

    For example:

    1. Bring me that.
    2. Hey/Yo, bring me that.
    3. Can you bring me that?
    4. Could you bring me that?
    5. Would you mind bringing me that?
    6. When you get a chance could you bring me that?
    7. If if fits into your schedule I’d appreciate it if you could bring me that.
    8. I know you’re really busy but it would really help me out a lot if you could bring me that.

    With close friends the first one is ok(ish) if your tone isn’t too commanding, but I’d normally stick to 2 through 4 (or 5). For some reason a “please” sounds overly polite whereas a “thanks” upon receiving the request doesn’t. I imagine this is different for other regions. I’m from the US northeast, but people from the south probably feel differently.